One recent evening, I found myself having a chat with a guy at work who was nervous as all fuck because he was about to engage in what I hope turned out to be one of the most memorable experiences of his life - an MFF threesome. He asked if I had ever been in a threesome, and when I said yes, he proceeded to ask me for advice based on my experiences, and he left feeling far more confident about the whole thing. In many of the BDSM groups we frequent, the question often arises about how comfortable you'd feel watching your partner fuck someone else in a threesome. Mr. Martin and I regularly comment on how much we enjoy it, and we usually have many people ask us how we're able to watch each other fuck other people. Mr. Martin and I have great fun engaging in threesomes, and I wanted to share with you some of the things we do that make each play session so much fun. This particular piece is therefore dedicated to couples looking to invite unicorns into the bedroom, (or kitchen, back porch - wherever you like to play), who want to know more about making a threesome successful. (*Unicorn - Single, bi girl happy to play with no strings attached).
First things first - Mr. Martin and I trust each other, and we're in an emotionally stable place in our relationship. Communication is key for us. We're able to talk about our desires openly without feeling like our relationship will be torn apart each time we choose to journey down this path. We talk about the kind of people we want to play with. We cover everything from looks, to personality qualities, kinks, and how we want the play session to pan out. We talk about the dynamic that may evolve during play - who's in charge and if this will change as play progresses. We talk about some of the things each of us like to do to with our playmates, and we talk about sexual health. If there's a question on our minds, we voice it. We are transparent and honest with each other. This all happens before we even start looking for a potential play-partner.
I'll admit, it's easy to get caught up in all the excitement at the prospect of having a playmate visit, but negotiating boundaries is something we never overlook. We discuss them regularly and check in with each other to make sure we're still happy with them. Boundaries ensure that everyone always feels included and has a great time during play. For example, when I leave the room all sexual play stops. Why? Because as the lady of the house one of the worries we want to avoid running into is walking into the room feeling "oh - I'm not really needed for this. He's just after extra pussy." It's about us the couple, having a shared experience. Creating a memory. There are also specific intimate acts that I'd rather Mr. Martin reserved just for me because they're "our thing." Boundaries will safeguard your emotional health before, during and after play. Again, all this stuff happens before we start the unicorn hunt.
Ok, so once we've talked about all of the above, Mr. Martin and I go about finding our unicorns. We've met most of them through Fetlife, and one via other social circles. Both our profiles stipulate exactly what we were looking for so there are no surprises during screening. Our profiles refer back to each other regularly, to illustrate how much of a package deal we are. Screening is important to help us find someone who will fit with our existing dynamic.
When we talk to our potential unicorns, we have very strong rules about transparency. Again, this kills jealousy issues. Once things start looking even vaguely promising, we take things to a 3-way chat box in Messenger or something similar. This means we both see what we have said to the potential guest. You never have to ask to see a chat that your partner had, never have to ask for a password or a phone. You can see everything everyone has written in a group chat. This is so important. We then arrange to meet prior to any play, to see if there's attraction and a connection. We also aim to find out how much experience they've had with other couples. If we feel things are going well during the initial meeting, and we're all happy, we arrange a play session.
During play, keep in mind everything that you've all discussed, and you'll have a ripper of a time. Be sure to check in with your partner to make sure they're enjoying themselves. We often sneak glances and whispers to one another, and the guest knows that we're just checking in, connecting, encouraging. This further illustrates that it's not just about bonking a new piece of arse. It's a new shared experience, one we can smirk about later on in life. Mr. Martin will often encourage them to do things that I like, from whispers in my ear, to the various ways that lead me to orgasm. He's aware that the lady of the house ought to be in the center of things fairly often, as, to put it bluntly, she is the most likely of the three to be dealing with any jealousy issues. And as I said, when I need a bathroom break, everything stops beyond cuddles. Guys, ask yourselves this - If your lady-love came back from the bathroom to find you smashing the guest, how might she feel? Then imagine how she might feel instead if she walked in to see you both excitedly calling out "You're back! Woooo!"
You and your love are partners in crime, embarking on a new adventure as a dirty, dirty team. Treat the whole night like that.
We are always making sure that nobody feels like the third wheel. When two are fucking, the third is drawn in super close, kisses go in all directions, arses are grabbed, and nipples are sucked and pinched. All manner of configurations can happen that allow everyone to get pleasure at the same time, too. For example, one girl is getting fucked while she is giving oral to the other. Sometimes we just slow down and lavish attention on one person, and we enjoy how special that makes them feel.
We enjoy discovering a new body together, and we enjoy showing them how to please us.
Mr. Martin has a way with words, and will often arrange us, encourage us, configure us for maximum pleasure. On the night, Mr. Martin is still a Dom, and I am a switch, though sometimes our guest and I are simply both His playthings. He goes to great lengths to ensure our pleasure.
This ties in to another important factor that makes a threesome fun for everybody: taking pleasure in one another's pleasure. Seeing that look on your lover's face as a new mouth brings them to orgasm. Seeing your guest feel the cock and the skills you get to have every night, and knowing so well what she is feeling. When you are happy that your best friend is happy, all manner of wonderful things can happen.
When all's said and done, the lady of the house is the best gatekeeper - I have a clear cut and empowered role in this house. Again, this is for jealousy maintenance. If I make all the final decisions about who does and doesn't have the privilege of coming into our house and our bed, I'm never left wondering if he just wanted some fresh pussy. In fact, we went another step further. I am literally the only one in our relationship who can issue an invitation to our house in terms of date and time. Mr. Martin has agreed that while he can make suggestions or raise a play-date as a topic, only I can say to her "come over on the 17th, 7pm."
Once things are over, it's great when everyone shows an attitude of gratitude. The man of the house should praise his partner, and be thankful, for allowing such fun to happen. The lady of the house should be grateful to her man for making sure the experience stayed fun. The guest should be grateful to be allowed inside your dynamic and for being made to feel special. She may love having been used as a fuck-toy, too, and you would have ideally found out the specifics of this over your first date coffees. An attitude of gratitude will be the ultimate deciding factor on whether your unicorn will want to return for more fun the next time an invitation is extended.
I'm not going to lie - Mr. Martin and I have an amazing, and often enviable, sex life. We are sexually compatible on so many levels. I hope that by sharing our experiences in something we're both so very passionate about, we've inspired you to open a positive dialogue with each other about engaging in threesomes, if you're curious about them. I'd love to hear about your positive experiences, so please feel free to drop us a line via email or pm through facebook/IG/Tumblr.
Please stay tuned for my next blog about Unicorns, where to find them, and how to treat them. Ladies and gentleman, thanks for reading.